Post Grad Blues
By: Ciera Barnes
Congratulations, you are now entering the real world. This is what so many commencement speeches tell you. What they don't tell you is what those entails. What does it mean to enter the real world? For me, it means looking for an endless amount of writing jobs. Each one tells me I’m overqualified or not qualified enough. For most graduates, this is where the work begins. Leading to frustration and self-doubt. How can I meet the expectations of the real world, when I can't even find employment? After a while, the rejection starts to feel real and personal. I started to question my worth as a writer. Am not as good as I think am? Maybe I should look into another field? This is where the post-grad blues starts to kick in. My degree is not getting me into the spaces I thought it would. Should I have picked a different major? Should I go back and get my master’s degree? These questions continue to ruminate in my head. I realized now that finding a job as a first time grad would not be easy. I wasn't prepared to be three months into graduation and still looking for a job. The pressure is mounting as I try to find solid work. Even freelance writing is not a sure thing. I feel frustrated and discouraged. I feel unprepared for my field as a first time writer. Why didn't I try and find an internship during my senior year? Why didn't I establish a portfolio? The truth is I didn't know. I foolishly thought I would be able to find a writing job at a big company or any company. I thought I could learn on the job if someone gave me an opportunity. I'm feeling a little lost. I was a good student. I did my part. I pursued higher education which in turn became my crutch. Maybe that’s why I want to go back to school. So, I can have structure and something to do every day. I allowed school to become my identity which was a mistake. I should have been trying to become a part of the real world while in school. I should have sought out experiences to prepare myself. Sometimes it feels like a rug has been pulled from under me. As I struggle to find myself in the post-graduate blues. Now I'm feeling the weight of adulthood hanging over my head. A race in which I am struggling to keep up. My patience is starting to wear thin. My post-graduate plans went up in smoke. As reality starts to set in, I can no longer use school as an escape. The words from the commencement speaker play over and over in my head. As he tells us welcome to the real world.
