Am I A Good Writer?
By: Ciera Barnes
Am I a good writer? This is something I am constantly asking myself. I spent four years devoted to the English Literature program. After graduation, I found it increasingly harder to write. Almost like the motivation left my spirit. Which left me wondering if I was ever really a good writer. Am I meant to do this? I did well in school when it came to writing stories and papers. Now I just feel really lost and confused. Sitting down to write is nerve-inducing.
Nothing ever feels good enough. Everything I write is bad or mediocre. I don't feel comfortable telling people I write. I have all of these ideas it’s just hard to put them in motion. Most of the time I feel stuck. It’s almost as if I have permanent writer's block. Did I waste four years of my life on this degree? I know part of it is anxiety and self-doubt. The other part is hard to figure out. Deep down inside I really want to write. I want to see my writing published. I just feel like nothing I do is good enough. Writing had become my safe haven. I found a way to express myself without resorting to anger and sadness. I could channel these feelings into my work. I used to write for two hours and counting. Now I can barely do thirty minutes.
As mentioned in my previous article, I have six drafts under my stories. Each draft is titled but has been left abandoned for some time. I hope to publish some of these before the year is up. As I write this article, I realize that I am not a bad writer. Just a woman racked with nerves and self-doubt. School was a security blanket. I had my professors to bounce my ideas off. I had a writing curriculum for the semester.
Now Post-graduation I have to come up with the subjects and topics to write about. I would write for fun outside of school, but I never had the courage to submit my work to publications. I can do that now that I have time too. I’m just scared and pessimistic about my work. My hope is that as I write more articles the confidence I had before will come back. So, I will no longer refer to myself as a bad writer. I'm just a writer trying to find her way.
